You are all so awesome! Thank you for the support!
Donna, I am an only child so no siblings to help out. I'm planning on talking in depth with the caseworker tomorrow to explore other options. I'm so freaked about this. I've always stood on my own two feet with no problems. This is so humiliating.
Jeff, I don't benefit from her SS because she has to use it to pay for her medications (which are plentiful) and her own expenses. She gives me $400 a month but she has always given that even when Gabe was contributing fully in our M. Now, it's not enough to really improve the circumstances. She's doing all she can though. There was one more thing about the convo with Gabe yesterday that I feel really good about. At one point he said, "I'm sorry I ruined your life." It infuriated me that he would say that. If I agreed that he had ruined my life then that would be giving him power over me. I got my back up and told him, "You don't get to say that. You don't get to feel that. If I agree then you have power over me. I control my life and only I can ruin my life. It is within my power to make my life what it is going to be, not yours." He had a stunned, deer in the headlights look. I really think he was trying to bait me into railing at him and giving him the "you reap what you sow" speech along with the "karma bit you in the a$$" bit. Nope, he wasn't going to get the satisfaction of bringing out my inner behatch. He isn't worth it.
It was empowering to realize that he is such a broken mess and that I have grown so much through this horrible circumstance. The difference is that I chose the path toward enlightenment, courage, strength, and God. He chose to wallow in his own filth.
Although life is overwhelming me, I won't allow it to beat me down. Forgive me please when I come here and moan, I know you all are probably really sick of it. I do try not to do it too often. All in all, I make a supreme effort to be pleasant and bubbly.
LOVE YOU ALL!!!!
OMG Mish! I said something VERY similar to DH last Thursday!! Doesn't it feel awesome!! I felt just like this--
