I didn't order this off the menu?!?!

[catfan]

Hey gang, it's been awhile since I last posted. I've been chugging along post-divorce for a while now. No expectation other than to get on with living and life. Of course there have been a few bumps and question marks along the way. A big one of course was some odd mixed signals from my ex. I finally decided they were nothing more than her attempts at keeping a cordial relationship with me. She hasn't made any proactive attempts to do anything more than that and it appears to have been fueled by me when I confronted her about communication and parenting.

So, I've been chugging along with no expectations that we'll be back together. In fact I have continued to move on with my life. That means dating of course. In January I ended a 6 month relationship, a bit tough to do but in the end it was a close fit but not a good fit.

I now find myself in another relationship that, I honestly feel, has a great deal of potential. She meets almost every thing I have identified in what I want in a partner. Its of course very early but it clearly has strong potential.

Now here's my struggle, it was pretty unexpected too. I get a real sense of guilt over finding a positive relationship that has such great potential. More to the point, I get a real guilty feeling about how this isn't "how it's supposed to be." This has a lot to do with how establishing a new relationship impacts my daughters. No, they haven't met her yet and won't for a good while. In fact, I do not believe they have any suspicions about it.

This guilt was really unexpected and is new territory for me. (Boy haven't we all covered some emotional territory we never expected!) I'm not sure how to work through it and would love to hear about how others have dealt with it.

Right now I am working on telling myself that it is ok for me to be happy again. It's ok for me to be in a positive relationship. At some point I will have a relationship that grows into more. It's all OK. But man its not as easy as that is it? (Don't worry I'm not beating myself up badly over this and am not dwelling on it but it is an unexpected emotion I have encountered.)

Thanks gang!