I agree - if something doesnt work you need to do something else. I just meant not to toss validation out of the window, just try a new approach to validation.
I shared my experience with my H to show you how a small shift in words can make a huge difference. It was merely an example and not related to your situation.
I cant say the right way to validate her because I am not in your situation. You may have to try many approaches before you find one that is productive. I just meant as a whole, validation is important so dont give up on it totally.
She might be testing you in a way to see if you really will practice validation for the long haul. That is why I suggest not to give up on it, just tinker it so its a tool that will be helpful instead of harmful.
