I had been wondering what had happened to you-- you sound really good under the circumstances. I know its not politically correct DB to say you're better off without the bum, but... while all MLCers are self-absorbed jerks during their crises, from what you say yours has always been that way. If he has Narcissitic Personality Disorder, he will never be a good husband (to ANYONE-- methinks Witchy Woman is in for an unpleasant surprise). The "how long will I have to pay CS?" comment was very telling.
I too have finally forgiven my H, and its a beautiful thing. I still have sad days, but most are good now. I am optimistic about the future again. You got there a lot quicker than I did.
I only got here thru the grace of God. And I'm beginning to feel optimistic again--I have that sense of being able to accomplish almost anything that I used to have.
As for Witchy Woman being surprised--I certainly hope so!! I have a feeling she's very much the person in control of their relationship, since she was 20+ years ago.
I am toying with the idea of writing letters to my in-laws. Just for my own closure. For one thing, to let them know what really happened, for another--to say that I was happy to be part of their family, that losing the family is very difficult for me, and to ask that they always include D13 in their activities because I won't stand in the way. I've been writing this in my head for quite some time, thought it best to wait until things were final. I doubt they'll respond, but that's not my purpose anyway!
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
