Separated & OW coming into picture

[hopeful_cb]

I think I see your points in what you have said. Thanks you for your strong and clear words. This has given me some perspective and knocked me out of thinking about the shock and to begin looking at what action can I take to improve things.

I think I need to have a discussion with H regarding IC. Does anyone have tips on how to pick a good one that follows similar philosophy to DR? I don't live in US and last time I tried to search for an IC that did anything like solution oriented and pro-marriage work in my area I couldn't find anything.

I also feel further discussion is needed regarding what H is doing or has done. Is this just me being too focused on unanswered questions? should I do this? From what I read in DR it says not to bring up R talk or OW. But I feel like what was said last night left me with so many questions and many things unclear.

I think finding a way to do something fun together is a great idea. I am thinking about how to propose this. Should I go about it in a completely just as friends lets do something fun sort of way? maybe that part doesn't matter. I don't know if he will agree to going out with me, I think he wouldn't if I put it to him as a 'date.'

Last night we did have a really good time talking and joking around and had a nice dinner but then the fun factor disappeared when he brought up R & OW talk (obviously!) I hope that doesn't overshadow the fun we actually did have when we were together.

I need to brainstorm ideas of fun things I can propose that will not seem too serious and without any pressure. I won't know if he'll agree to go unless I try.