A note that might help someone who is afraid to confront his or her SSM...
This weekend, my H stated that he needed me to reach a point of refusing to live without sex. He needed an awakening to help him prioritize sex because he is always consumed with worry about doing well in his job, making money, and providing for the family. Because he was focused on survival, putting any sort of energy into intimacy didn't even occur to him. He also stated that once he realized that he *had* to focus on our intimacy, he was pleasantly surprised to find that he does have a natural drive and that his life can be happier with sex and a happy wife.
(We're only just beginning our sex-fed marriage, so I'm not claiming that we are "all fixed".)
My point is: Don't be afraid to be absolute when stating your needs, because your conviction and holding firm may be exactly what your spouse needs to begin his or her inward exploration and discovery.
