Hmm.. badly. Slowly. Like wading through concrete. Which is how I have felt for the past 18+ months..
I'm trying to play sound files of the pitch of certain planets, down a trombone. As you do!
He still didnt reply to my text of yesterday, eventhough I asked him a question about the ipod he lent me, so thats disappointing. The trouble is, I get used to the increased contact and expect it to continue.
I feel angry today, thats a rare one for me. I feel fed up, resentful, lonely and tired of being alone. I was just thinking I dont feel as though I have made the most of living in Cornwall so far, the first 6 months was hard and rained alot and then the past nearly two years has hardly been a bed of roses.
I cant believe its been nearly 2 years. Not one year, which would be bad enough, no, two. Despite that though, I think of Thursday.. something had shifted, the way he was following me around, looking worried when men spoke to me, the way he would brush my arm or touch my shoulder when he spoke to me, the things he was saying about how terribly he missed me, how he wanted to phone me, how he held me, arms circling my waist, fingers in my back, leaning his cheek on mine. I wish I could see a photo of us as we are holding each other talking.. what it looked like, as it sure feels amazing.
