The only thing I'm losing by him going back to CA is him in Marc's life. Nearby, able to help with him. Go for haircuts, take him to karate, take him off my hands every other weekend. That break is huge for me and I won't have that anymore.
On Marc's side, he is sad but I'm sure he will be ok. I just don't know how to be a dad! He has to be taught to shave, drive a car, talk to girls (lord help me), be a MAN! I am not equipped to do that. I was talking to a man in my financial study last night and he was telling me that he is involved in the Big Brothers program and has some contacts he can get to me. Maybe that could be a good bridge.
I haven't told anyone in RL because I'm frankly to embarassed but I'll tell you here. I have an interview tomorrow morning to hopefully qualify for food stamps. I feel so ridiculous doing this when there are so many people that are much worse off than I am but I'm so tired of struggling as hard as I am. I have a feeling they will turn me down because of mom's social security income (even though I don't benefit from that). We'll see.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
