Mindblank #3 - Dumb, Dumb, Dumb....

[mindfull]

But, note,

when he sees me or talks to me, I'm still almost always "done" w/a nice outfit on, hair done, etc... upbeat, and pleasant, and I do nice things for him (buy things he might want to take with him when he travels, make dinners he likes when he's here so he doesn't have to eat out all the time, etc...).

I try and delay D17 drama conversations/punishments for when he's not here, if he doesn't need to be involved (because she'll run to him immediately).

And, I try to get most of the "busy-work" errands and stuff out of the way during the week when he's gone, so I'm not running around doing nonsense when he's here. I want him to enjoy being home.

And, I'm really trying on this financial stuff. My next job is to tackle D17's college financial situation. I need to have some of it handled legally (my H and I married when she was 3), so I want it all handled and I can present to H what I have done to take this off of his shoulders (he usually does all of this kind of stuff, but has such limited time at home, hard to do...).

And, lastly, I'm trying to show him that it's not that important to me to really need the luxuries in life that he felt pressured to provide. We gave up our country club membership in the Spring of last year. (Couldn't get there anyhow with all of these darn soccer games! LOL) My shopping habit has dramatically improved. And, I think he's getting that I won't "require" such a luxurious home if ours would sell (In fact he was showing me a home he found for us to consider that was 2x what I would think of spending...). I told him it was beautiful, but only if it was a deal, and we loved it. I had come to think a nice 4-bedroom two-story in a nice/NORMAL neighborhood behind the Jr High/High school would be just fine, considering both boys will be there starting next year for the next eight years or so!

So, we'll see.