No Hollywood Ending......BUT...Happily Married

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

bnd--

I really needed to read this today. I have been struggling with the issue of how much leeway to give my DH. I am comfortable enough in my own home to allow him here liberally, but I have been counseled often that I should not. I want to be friendly, loving, and kind to him. It is not my nature to be any other way, especially toward someone I love very much.

Yesterday, my had our youngest daughter's birthday party. It was all family (his and mine) and close friends that are like family. Everyone that was here knew our situation (DH's ongoing affair). Everyone that was here supports my decision to stand for my marriage, but they all have their own way that I should do it.

I am finding that the more open I am, the more open he is. at one point last evening, all of the kids were outside playing, he was building something for D9 at the table, and i was just in the same room-working on school, reading, etc. Several times, he would just start conversation with me for nothing in particular.

I wanted coffee, but not enough to make a pot, so I asked if he would drink some if I made it. He said that sounded good so I did and when it was done, made us both a cup. Later, when he got a refill, he offered to make mine as well. It is frustrating, as for me this is what I always thought a settled marriage was--the ability to be comfortable with each other without a lot of conversation. Yet, he is still in his affair fog and does not see that we do have plenty to rebuild this marriage on if he were willing to work.

When he left last night, I let out a huge, sad, sigh when he pulled out of the driveway--as he was once again gone. As I was in the midst of telling D17 that I was just frustrated, "God is In Control" by Twila Paris came on the radio. D17 busted out laughing and said, "well Mom, there is your answer." I just keep giving this marriage over to Him and praying, fasting, and believing.

Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW