It seems to be working.... sometimes #2

[sandycay]

Arrghhh.

Hit a pothole but I think I did my best to not become a B*tch, but I am aggravated I guess.

On Sunday after a few convo's here and there with H...he called me to say stomache not good full on problem on the back end and feeling like the front end may result in a problem too.

Problem is he has to fly at midnight....( A 9 HOUR FLIGHT) he then does blow the front end.... (he hasn't done that in years... so I know it's bad) but continues on to work anyway. Complaining alot about how his stomach hurts.

So, before takeoff he calls and here's the convo:

M: How is your tummy issue
H: The same
M: I don't think you should go because what if it gets worse
H: It's fine
M: Well, I don't think vomiting and runs is fine
H: I have no choice, it's my job, they are 100percent depending on me.
M: Well, if your sick .. your sick... it's a shame that the cargo co. depends on one pilot... they shouldn't put themselves in that situation.
H: (he's pissed of now).. I have to go
M: Ok..well be safe and maybe go to the ER when you land for some fluids...you'll be dehydrated.

Later on he text me:
H: NOt a very nice feeling Sandycay. You have to trust my judgement. It's not like there's anyone to cover for me. and just becaue I have a tummy ache is not a good enoug reason to cancel 100 percent of this airline's operations.

Have a good night.


WTF.... I text him back that was not my intent... but he never answered ...the tone of the email was not very nice... and then to not answer my text and fly off ... totally out character... The moaning and groaning he was doing for 5 hours preflight is now just a tummy ache....

I can see where he says I don't listen in the conversation... as soon as he said I am fine .... I should have dropped it... but the truth is ... he wasn't fine... he was sick... but he's stubborn and knew a lot was riding on him last night.

I just want to say that there are 3 to 4 Pilots on board ... my H is the representative (instructor pilot) from the manufacturer of the plane that is helping their pilots out. Their pilots are checked out on the plane and have 1000's of hours so it's not like he was jeopardizing anyone. (I Just wanted to be clear, in case anyone is wondering,)

Anyway, H calls this morning.. still testy in his voice... doesn't mention it (of course) doesn't acknowlege my text of explaining the reason i said it was becaue I cared, that's all. I said that I was sorry if it felt that I wasn't trusting his judgement.
So, I mentioned it... conversation got a little tough.... he said it came across as bitching.... I say but I don't undertand how he can get aggravated when someone shows they care .... Blah...so I said well, I am feeling pretty beat up by now, I have been accused of bitching when I thought I was showing care... I don't know what to do... I can't win.

H: Your not gonna win this one cause your wrong.
I know at this point I need to end the A-B conversation and C my way out of it..so I just say We need to end the conversation now and I will talk to you later.

H: Later and hangs up.

SIGHS.... I hate days like this... I didn't sleep well last night. Now, comes the problem....or issue... next time we talk ... I know that I will have to put on the happy and pretend like it never happened and all will be well.....

I ponder how long it will take me before that's my true attitude that things need to roll off my back because right now it's a struggle and always has been. Otherwise, I will at some point implode..... please pray for me on this one. This is a needed skill for me. Any ideas?