Emotional affair turning into real afair

[Doingitright]

Sorry been gone awhile. Going to counselor together weekly (week 2). It seems pretty dead on for a mid life for the W. Says it is over with OG and is not worth throwing our marriage away. Still not attracted to me but “loves me”. Seems to be all about the kids and nothing about us as the reason to try and mend and see counselor. But that is fine. I am at the point of resentment. Feeling like I am holding the bag and waiting for her to come to. She said and did things that just keep hurting. The proverbial “gift that keeps on giving”. I have been able to block it most of the time, but it creeps back in every now and then.
So much coming up but the dust just has not settled. Mother’s day, Anniversary , family graduations. The being together and marriage anniversaries have me worried. I am not sure what in the world to do? Do we celebrate? Do we exchange gifts? I am really stuck. One side of me says we really are hanging by a thread so what is there to celebrate. On the other hand what if she is expecting something, a good will gesture, or something of the sort. Does it push us back to square one as it would be something that could be viewed as intentionally done to be hurtful.