I know what you mean about the telephone. My H does exactly the same thing. Only it happened when I had to go to hopsital. I called him around midnight, he didn't pick up. I called up a friend and she took me instead.
So here is what you need to do.
DON'T COUNT ON HER.
ANTICIPATE EMERGENCIES, OK?
How? Have a list of people on the side of your fridge to call. The emergency numbers for fire/ambulance/police. Your family, close friends, W's phone number, pediatrician, local hospitals. Print them out BIG and CLEAR because in an emergency, your mind is racing and you CANNOT focus.
Then train your children to dial the numbers when/if something happens to you or one of them. You need to rely on yourself and your kids now. Have a plan in place. It's never too early to teach your kids how to contact emergency numbers.
Next, have a calm conversation with your W when the time is right. Tell her again, I would like this separation to be as smooth as possible for the kids. I know your time is important to you but would it be possible to set up an emergency notification system between us in case there is an emergency? e.g. Emergency SMS - e.g. 911 kids (or such) with emergency with kids. Then don't abuse this system. Use it only for real emergencies.
Now, if you say that you are really concerned about the kids then the suggestions I made will have calmed your fears. But if I guess correctly, you are actually still keen on your W being faithful and you want to keep tabs on her, in which case, I am sorry I didn't help ;-)
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
