I went to the courthouse and they told me that I need to call CSS in order to get my child support. This means that the DA will be involved, the state will take care of getting it from him and he will be garnished wherever he goes. 1) He's gonna be pissed. It'll give him more reasons to hate me and be mean. 2) I don't believe he will give me any CS or debt willingly, so I somehow don't feel like I have much of a choice.
For those of you who know me...all of you. I still snoop occassionally and I found out that his unemployment claim has been approved. This means that he will be receiving him UI checks for the back pay from December until now. A large portion of that money belongs to me...will he give it to me? No. Will he even tell me that he is getting UI? No. So, I am torn. I know that going through CSS is going to make our R worse, but I don't feel like I have much of a choice. I have been putting off calling them ....why? I think I have been waiting to see if he will do it willingly or give me any sign of working with me. And, he hasn't as a matter of fact, he has been pretty damn mean. So, why should I care if it hurts him financially? He's been hurting me financially since he left a year and a half ago. He doesn't care about me, so should I even give a rat's a$$ about him and OW's life?
Help. I need some input.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
Call CSS. A friend of mine was trying to keep the peace with her exh and he flaked on his cs too. He now owes her over $20,000.00! She is starting proceeedings against him. Sure it will make him mad. Why? Who cares. Its the law and his responsibility. Just wait until his son doesn't go without or he buys another new toy to ride. K should be getting her share.
Thanks for the email. I am in sick and panic mode. What will be next?
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Hey B, no dillema for me. Go get the money before he spends it. He may even respect you more in the long run. Upset? Sure!! He upset you regarding your D and didnt mind, why you should you care? K
Call them and just remember you are doing it for K and her needs not yours. Also I would call the EDI office and let them know you have a child support order that is in arrears and what steps do you need to take to get some of the money owed to him. You dont have to tell them you snooped just tell them you know. They might not do anything but they may just ask you to provide a copy of the order and send you the check. Worth a try. If not he will have the money spent from the back pay before CSS has a chance to do anything
Also if you start up a file with CSS they can notify the DMV that he has stopped paying child support and revoke his lisence until he pays up. This is part of the Dead beat parent act in CA.
1) He's gonna be pissed. It'll give him more reasons to hate me and be mean. 2) I don't believe he will give me any CS or debt willingly, so I somehow don't feel like I have much of a choice.
Help. I need some input.
Honey, YOUR CHILD needs you to do this. You can not think about his anger right now. Come on, I know you have a little bit of Mama Bear in you some where. How dare anyone, least of all daddy, neglect or deprive the little one of what she needs.
Just stay calm, speak softly, keep it business-like. You can always go home & break something to relieve the stress.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
I agree that you need to get it done. And he's already a jerk to you, what does it matter if he's more mean. He can't get much meaner.
my thought is, it is respectable to have some kind of warning? I mean, have you ever told him if he doesn't do such and such, that the consequence would be filing for CSS?
you know you always here the guy getting so upset about the exw that sends papers and he has no clue. Is it okay to let him have the chance to prove himself?
just some thoughts to think about. I don't know what the answer should be. But I think it would probably be the wise decision to file.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
oh, and I think the email was okay. I still think you should talk to the firemen too.
I knew that it was law, but couldn't remember, or forgot to look at her sig to see how old K was.
and, I know this sucks that he's choosing not to put her safety first, but remember back in the day, there were no seatbelts and the kids had no carseats either. of course there were less cars on the road too, but just trying to make you feel better about his ignorance.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
"He is correct that almost all guys would rather have respect than love."
I am of the opinion that respect would build love.
"well, in their minds, respect is love probably."
It is all about perspective. But with that statement you clarified it some.. did you not?
The thing that keeps me from clarifying my point.. is I suspect it would cause me to loose respect.
"I went to the courthouse and they told me that I need to call CSS in order to get my child support. This means that the DA will be involved, the state will take care of getting it from him and he will be garnished wherever he goes."
This is what you do.
Go to the courthouse. Get child support.
The DA will be involved, the state will take care of getting it from him and he will be garnished wherever he goes.
Any questions?
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
