LBS Need help and support #3

[antlers]

But, as I told you before, it is time for you to turn her lose and turn her over to God and let Him deal with her and the stitch b/c nothing else and nobody else at this point is going to change her mind.

I ask God every day to give me guidance and help me be a better man, father, husband and Christian, and maybe your message tonight is Him speaking to me, through you. I guess I just don't really understand what it means to fully turn it over to Him. I admit that I am powerless to do anything to change her mind, and I pray for Him to fill her heart with the Holy Spirit and give her peace. I pray for Him to heal her heart of all wounds past and present, and fill her heart with love.

I do want what is best for my kids, and I believe that D will cause more harm long term than the current uncertainty will. This is one reason why I won't come to a mutual agreement that this is what is best. If the decision is made, it is hers, and I can go to my grave with no regrets. But I believe in the sanctity of marriage, and don't believe anything, except for abuse, warrants divorce. That's where I'm having so much difficulty. I can give her all the time she needs, and I can drop the rope, I just can't willingly go along with something that I feel is morally wrong.

Can't you see that you already have your answer where she stands? Dont believe anything they say remember. Only actions. What are her actions? Not filing. Not telling the kids.

This does lead me to believe that she still is conflicted and she is looking for me to agree so she can resolve it to herself that it wasn't her decision alone. And I guess my point of standing for my marriage is that if D is going to happen, it will be her decision alone.
She is absolutely free to do whatever it is that she needs to do, and the ball is in her court now. I have done what I can do, said what I can say, and it IS in God's hands now.

Your post speaks to me because that is exactly how I feel too! I pray to God that he helps her to heal. She has told me how she feels...and it seems hopeless for me right now...but I still hang on to hope! Why? They say "don't believe anything they say"! It's hard to do when you hear the stuff I've heard! Anyway, I'm gonna put forth more effort now than ever before to LEAVE HER ALONE! We've had no contact at all since the bad phone call on April 30th. I'm gonna try to be motivated by my love for her, since this is what she needs and wants. I'm gonna try to remember that it's selfish to communicate with her when she does not want it! She knows how I feel, and she's told me how she feels. I've got to turn her loose, and turn her over to God, just like it was mentioned in your post, and let Him deal with her...because nothing else and nobody else at this point is gonna change her mind! I am scared of what is gonna happen. But I've got to start living, and quit just existing. I want to keep going, and have a happy life...one filled with compassion on my part, because it was so lacking on my part before! I'm sorry that we're having to go through this, I'm sorry we've hurt the ones we love, and I hope that things will get better for us. I read your threads, and I have good thoughts for you.