Yeah, I definitely don't want dishonestry, just the opposite. Like I said, I do really try to stay busy.
I not quite sure how my W would react if I suggested something, but I really don't think we're in a good place for that yet. Sometimes I get lulled into forgetting how bad and painful what she did was. It's not something that can just be "smoothed over". There's going to have to be a day of reckoning at some point. I think we can both feel it whenever we're together. Either we're just going to go our own ways and that will be that, or we're eventually going to have to honestly discuss what happened, and I know neither of us is looking forward to that, nor are we ready for it yet. We're in a weird phase where we're trying to heal, we're trying to be really nice to each other, we're trying to be the best parents we can through this, we're trying to survey this dynamite-laden situation from afar for a while longer until one of finally gets bold enough to bring it up. Are we there yet? I don't think so. Maybe in a couple more months.
Spent another afternoon and evening all together at the W's house. It seems like no matter what our plans are, somethings happens that encourages us to all be together. I was just supposed to go pick up the kids from my W's house, but a couple friends were over and the kids were all playing in the yard. My W asked if I'd like to just stay for a while so the kids could play, which led to all afternoon, which then led to us all having dinner together, then hanging out after dinner, etc, etc, etc.
This is just weird, and I'm not sure what to do, so I just roll with it. It feels healing in a way, but also dangerous.
