Just to throw in my two cents worth. I know how I felt as an AWAW and I would say that if you are not getting positive results by the particular validations you are giving her......then that is a cheeseless tunnel and you need to stop. Why continue to do something that would piss her off and she has even told you that it makes her sick? That is backfiring on you, and Michelle says stop doing what doesn't work. As somebody told me the other day, when we continue to do the same thing and expect a different reaction, that is insanity.

In some cases, I think the "way" a H tries to validate the feelings of his W or her mother or whoever is involved.......could appear to make him look weak and not very manly. If you are not sure what to say other than you can understand why they feel that way......(which does make you look like the bad guy), you can just say that you're sorry they feel that way about it....and leave it at that. But don't sound pitiful in your tone of voice. At this point of the R it may be best to even sound a tad bit "aloof" b/c you have tried to validate and it has slapped you back in the face. If that does not do any better, I suggest not saying anything at all.


Sandi


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!