[SDFoundGirl]

I think you're dead right, Doc. My H is *too* nice, only he then puts himself up on a cross and gets all pouty if you don't fall all over yourself thanking him. It's really annoying, and I can't tell you how many times I wanted to yell at him, "Stop thinking about everybody else but yourself and then getting pissed when people take you up on your offer!"

He's better now, but he's definitely a pleaser type. I refuse to buy into it anymore...but we have talked about this openly and how it impacts our R. I do make a point of thanking him when he does nice things (like this morning, going to get coffee and pastries for breakfast for us while I was still sleeping as we had no provisions in the house).

I think a balance is good...if you really want that piece of pie, eat it. Or share it if she really cares, or leave it if you don't. Women want strong men...not selfish, but not falling all over the place kissing our butts. I need someone who can hold his own instead of giving in to everything I want/think I want. No victims, you know?

So, do what works. It sounds like detachment to me...

SD