Wow, thanks Lisa, that really resonates with me also. Worrying too! I hadnt banked on so many problems with intimacy, but now I can see that there would be. Like the guy above said "Along with guilt, remorse, regret, and self-hatred for my prior actions was the constant feeling of failure and depression"...my ex said he hates himself, he is a sh*t, he is pracked with guilt, he is rubbish and of course, depressed.
K - you're welcome ! I would love to do my OWN website and maybe advertise readings (I always thought I would do it in my 40's). Seems a shame to waste 25 years of study, plus 6 years of classroom lessons training as an astrologer, including some lessons with eminent astrologers (Jonathon Cainer, Christine Skinner, Graeme Tobyn, Stephen Arroyo etc). So whats this business offer !?? (yes, May, I swear!)
As for H.. wow, so he came to lie down with you (EVEN if your D was there)? Made me a little sad reading that.. he does love you. Lisa's post is interesting though, your H was so guilty he couldnt even admit the A!!!
That makes me think.. I wonder if its like a real block for him, to intimacy? I wonder what he would be like if he were able to just open up and admit it, be honest? I often said before that he didnt want to tell you he had, or any details as he was afraid you would tell him to F off and he would lose you forever, which I know sounds perverse, as he is possibly losing you now by his NON actions and NOT telling you about the A.
But I am an emotionally expressive person and I was very very fearful of admitting that I even fancied OM, neverlone the nature of our EA and definetly not the details of our PA. Although I wanted to be honest and for him to trust me again and us to grow closer, I was terrified of losing him. So it took me 2 years for all the details to finally come out.
