My time with D1 yesterday went well. It was raining, so I had to hurry to get her in my truck. My cousin was visiting, so he rode with me during the pickup. W/MIL acted defensive in posture, but I handed W a check for her portion of the tax refund as promised, so that was matter-of-fact. Told them I'd see them at 4, and MIL just repeated what I said.

We went to the mall, ate some chicken, and went to look at cameras/hats. Then we went to the grocery store and I bought some mini-cupcakes for D1. My two boys spent the evening cleaning, and D1 explored the house after eating her cupcake.

W/MIL and one of W's friends from work showed up around 4 to get D1 (They didn't bother knocking). W/MIL acted 'as if' nothing was wrong, were talkative, etc. and said "We'll see you later DCBHM" and said goodbye to the boys. I'm sure it was an act for W's friend, but there was nothing negative about the visit and nothing was mentioned of my expose' from last week.

Now:
There are two parts of me at war right now. There is the emotional part which wants more than ever for my M to be saved, and is hurting/agonizing over the infidelity, and is encouraging me to re-read DR chapters over and over. Then there is the rational part of me which is weighing pros/cons of the relationship as well as risks such as false allegations/etc. W has been making as too risky to be braved, especially if she is diagnosed with BPD.

The emotional part of me says "give her another chance" and is the part of me that is standing up for what I believe in. The rational part of me recognizes that W has pretty much trashed me to all of her relatives, friends, etc. and that if she has a hope of gaining the upper hand she will not hesitate to go in for the kill on me in the legal arena.

In fact... I'm quite certain that the only time W will begin moving back towards the M will be when I have made great traction in the legal process and her custody of D1 is threatened.

I'm quite certain MIL was "well-meaning" when she contacted a lawyer friend on W's behalf, but moving our conflict from a family issue into a legal issue was like tossing a guppy (W) into an aquarium with a bull shark (me) hoping that happiness would be forthcoming.

So I'm having to basically make it up as I go along, and I feel like a walking contradiction expressing hope for the M while I'm simultaneously fighting a war in the legal process. I can't risk pulling my punches because I only get one shot at the custody thing with this sort of advantage... but I do have concerns that the M will be damaged even further, although W has made clear her intention that the M is dead and she has no desire to entertain anything except the D.

I think my best option at this point is to LRT/ALRT and when I recognize it is crunch time I will have to make an ultimatum possibly.

Anyone have any pointers on helping hasten an end to the A beyond exposure?

"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."