Well it has taken me two years and several set backs to finely get to where I am. As the DB theory states about GALing well I thought I had done that. I was doing my own thing but it seems it was for the wrong reasons. I was GALing to see if she would notice. NOT to better myself. I would do things on my own but then when I got back home I would wimp out and go back to "kissing her butt" ( not literally I wish though) One of the things I remember she said when the bomb was dropped two years ago was I told her I worshiped her, I trusted her. Her response was that "I shouldn't have put her on a pedestal". I think I finally have gotten tired of trying to please her. In fact I have gone a little to the opposite side of the spectrum. I no longer do things for her unless she asks. Now I am not saying that I am rude or mean to her. It's just I let her struggle with things and not let her assume that I am always going to help. David C. asked a great question. Why is it that spouses that has affairs always have them with "bad boys" . They have husbands that are nice to them always doing things for them and yet they go after men (or women) that are of a lower standard than their spouses. His theory is that wives (spouses) sometimes get bored. They get used to there husbands (spouses) always being there and they have no worries about losing them. So I have kind of become a little self centered. I mean it may seem small to most of you but I have done things now like eating the last piece of pie when in the past I would have saved it for her. I don't run out and help her unload the car when she gets back from grocery shopping. I don't ask if it's alright with her when I do things now I just tell her I am doing them. I no longer take things personal and get depressed when she does not include me.. (This one has really been a 180, I really don't care anymore when she does not include me and now she goes out of her way to include me. I no longer empty the dish washer. I kind of feel that the tables have turned and now she does things for me instead of me doing them for her.
My Job loss..
Well WDID said it best..."sometimes when we get pushed out of our comfort zone. Fantastic things happen ..I think that 1. Wife no longer resents me that she lost her job and I still had mine. (We both worked for the same company) 2. After that first day and I got over the shock my attitude has been great. Wife even said that I am taking it allot better than she did. 3. Even though I have to be there for two more months I have been looking around and have found 3 openings on the outside that would fit perfect for my qualifications so I know there is work out there.. 4. This will be the first summer in 28 years that I can spend with my family.
Side note.. Self esteem boost..
Last night I went to the bowling alley with son to play pool. I was having a great time when this Red headed woman caught my eye.. I went back to playing pool and when I looked at her again she was checking me out.. She was there with her GF. She said something to her GF who inturn looked my way. When we were through and I went to pay for the game and she got inline behind me. (Probably checking out my butt). She was telling her friend that she wanted to go to the bar and check out the music. She said this rather loud. I think it was for my benefit ..After I played I turned to leave and we had close direct eye contact. I swear her eyes were smiling at me... She smiled at me and I smiled back and left with my son. I guess the Doc still has it.... Now I know what you mean Sara about your shoe guy... Well it's raining so I am going to go make some cookies..
Talk to ya all later Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
