J, When in doubt, do nothing. Sit quietly and patiently for the answers will come.
As for your daughter's rowing event coming up and how to act around him...just act like yourself. Treat him just as you would a friend or a neighbor that you were passing on the street.
You have to do what you have to do in order to protect yourself financially. Do not allow him to leave you in the dust w/nothing. During this time, he will spend every cent he can lay his hands on because he's self medicating with new toys, etc. Financial obligations will take a back seat to his self medication.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
