"Whatever it is it just shows she has a complete lack of respect for me and now for the first time wants to flaunt it in my face. Am I missing something here?"
No - IMO - you're not missing anything- I fully believe that one of the reasons for us being where we are is an erosion of respect, for one know that my W lost her respect for me (not her "love" for me but definitely her respect). That gave her a green light to seek out a relationship with someone who did give her that respect. I'll be the first to say that I trampled on the respect that she had for me... although it wasn't that straightforward...I lost my mum, that caused issues(then unresolved) about my (disabled) brother who died when I was 5 - I took it all badly and descended into alcohol while also trying to keep my head above water with a sh!tty hand I'd been given with a newish job...and at the same time being the dad of a 2/3 year old for whom I could do nothing right!
I shoulda/coulda done all sorts of things...but I didn't...instead I let it roll and things became worse and worse...In the phraseology of our friends over the pond I indulged in a real "pity party"
You've got to jump off that merry-go-round - or in my case I was forced to...
