Hi innishannon, If you do some research into it you will find that almost 80% of M survive infidelity. Then of the 20% that a very small portion of those A's actually turn into long term successful relationships. I did all the math once and it works out to about 3.6% of the A's last and become a meaningful R. So to answer your question: No, their A doesnt have what it takes to last, and it wont. That doesnt mean that he will automatically come back either though.
You are making these changes so that you will be able to handle whatever happens, and I think that him being so upset means that he sees them, and knows that this is for real. He simply cant reconnect with you while he is in this OW relationship. Its just not going to happen. I honestly think that the reason that they do the whole "I just cant come back" thing is because its easier to just curl up and be sad then face their shame.
Good for you for standing tall, I know its really hard right now. Ive been separated for almost a year and H and I are just getting to the point where we are talking regularly again. You can only control what you do, make sure that its always the right thing.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
