Just wanted to post today real quick... I am having a very low day. We are celebrating my daughter's birthday today (it really tomorrow) When my H was home and he did not know what was going on yet, we went shopping for her birthday together. He picked out what he wanted to give to her and now he is not here to give it to her because of me. I am second guessing myself that I should have waited until after her birthday. I know that i can not go back and change the fact that he has already been served but it still feels like I took this away from him and her. Even though he is not her daddy, he has been with us since she was 2 months old and she has always called him daddy and has said that she doesn't want her really father since she has her daddy (my H). I am just having a pity pot day today. We will be going around friends and family today so hopefully I will get out of it soon. I find myself missing my H and wondering if I can do this. I think that this all got started because I got papers in the mail yesterday from my lawyer that was from my H's lawyer. Reality is hitting hard and I don't like it and I am scared. I wish that I could have found the man that I fell in love with again, the man that I belived in and has faith in. But I know that the man that I am M to now can not be that man again. I know that I will still love him and have these low days and that they will get better over time. But it still hurts.
Me-31 Him-28 D1-9 D2-6 Married 5-06 Seperated 12-07 He filed 1-08 Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08 Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09 Filed for D 4-28-09 Trying to make a go of it 6-09
