It doesn't sound dumb, it sounds pretty natural and normal. I found myself going to a sexy shop to by $250 worth of bras to make myself feel better about myself and my body before my h was found out to be cheating. I was feeling like I must not be pretty enough and attractive enough because of the things that I was having doubts about before bomb dropped. (Like him telling me that if i did not put out then he would find someone who would). Though I did like what the bras did for me, it did not change the fact that he was addicted to sex and it did not make a difference in his cheating.
Anyway what I learned from that shopping spree and dressing a bit nicer and sexier....My H and other men still looked at me like 'i had it'. That is a self estemm booster to anyone. All people need boosters. If you are feeling better about yourself from the inside then it will show on the outside too. Alot of people find themselves doing exactly what we have done trying to get that self esteem builder back. I think that it is good you are getting out of the 'routine' and thinking about what YOU want. This will show her that you still care about the simple things. It is not selfish to do these things.
I am glad to hear that you are going to a pro marriage councelor. They are more open minded about the techniques to help your M and hopefully to fix it instead of leading it to a D. I went to a councelor at one time and she just kept asking me why I did not leave my H.
Stay positive. Keep doing things that make you feel good about yourself. Rebuild the person that you kow you can be. By doing these things maybe she will see the man that she fell in love with. Though my H has cheated and lied to me, I still love the man that I fell in love with and married. Unfortuantly with my sitch, I do not think I will find that man again. I hope that your wife finds that man in you again, that you find that woman in you wife again, and that you both can forgive and forget the things that may have led up to this affair.
I will keep checking in on you. Also I figured out that my sitch is under 'still getting nowhere fast'. I am not savvy with this site yet. lol
Me-31 Him-28 D1-9 D2-6 Married 5-06 Seperated 12-07 He filed 1-08 Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08 Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09 Filed for D 4-28-09 Trying to make a go of it 6-09
