Yesterday H spent most of the afternoon at our house. He was there while the kids and I were still out shopping after Nathan's counseling! Texted me that he was there working on the playset...(He got supplies to make Nathan an awesome play set in the yard in K.C., but then started his A the very next week and the playset has been in pieces for 2 years)
He said something in the afternoon about needing to work on his house, he didn't have anywhere to sleep...
That just irritated me, so I said, calmly, "No, that isn't accurate. You DO have somewhere to sleep. You have a home and a family. You don't have somewhere you WANT to sleep..." He did a sort of annoyed nod, but I am not going to feed into his pity parties anymore. He has a perfectly good home/family/wife and if he chooses to leave that then suck it up and deal...
I asked if he was coming to Sydney's party today with my family. My mom hosts it with like 30 or 40 of our relatives, my mom is one of 8 siblings and they all have kids and grandkids...
He said he wasn't planning to. I said that was fine, but was obv. pissed about it by my tone of voice. I said you don't have to go but understand I am no longer making excuses for you at these things. He backpedaled about going and I said I didn't want him to go just to cover things up...
Anyway the rest of the afternoon was fine I mowed and he built. This morning he texts me "Do you mind if I go to the party"
I replied
*I don't mind if you go, it is Sydney's party and you are invited
*My issue is that I never told my family (extended) that we separated. I always thought we would get back together and it would be easier on you if they never knew
*Now you are clear that you don't want to get back together anymore which is fine, your decision. But I am not going to keep lying to my family. I won't broadcast it but I won't hide it either.
I am sure that pissed him off. He doesn't get it, he thinks it is nobody's business and nobody needs to know. And no, people don't walk up and say "How is your marriage". But if my cousin who lives in our town says "Hey you and Dan should come over and we can grill...", "How are you guys liking being back home", etc etc I don't want to just dodge the questions anymore. I am tired of keeping all the plates spinning in that regard.
