Holding onto Hope

[In Limbo]

I have continued to DB, but feel H slipping further away. Yesterdy he "worked all day" (can I believe that? can I believer he's ever where he says he is anymore?) and when he got home he was distant as usual. But he wants to watch a movie together, cuddle, etc. Knowing what I know about OW now, I'm feeling like cake crumbs. He has been seeing OW (EA) in person (movies, dancing, etc.) and continuing to communicate with her. I'm wondering if EA is headed to PA. I still want my M to work, but think I need to protect myself by asking him to leave our home. How does the WAS/MLC spouse ever reconnect to feelings for LBS when all of their energy is being poured into OW? I can't bring up the R, which is what I really want to do. How do I set boundaries without talking about R or OW when boundaries would involve both?
I know I need to detach and am not pretending that I have. I thought after the DUI and his comment about taking inventory of his life and the closeness I felt after that maybe we were headed toward reconciliation. But now I know he's just as obsessed with OW as he was before. I want to confront her, confront her spouse so he doesn't end up feeling fooling like me too. Guess that's never a good idea? I've not realy had anger in all of this but I feel it rising up today. He's back at work all day, so I have until tonight to figure out what to do and say. I hope someone has some advice. Please?