Healing from a lifetime of self-deprecation

[still hopeful]

I did. I moved on Wednesday. It's a calming mood. I finally had to quit lying to myself as to why I felt it was so necessary to stay in the area. I kept saying it was about being with my children more, but I figured out it was about staying near XW so she could 'use' me more. I've finally broken free of the self-imposed mental shackles and it feels good. Everyone kept telling me it was as simple as making a decision and I just couldn't see it and I wouldn't do it out of fear. Amazingly, it was aa simple as making a decision to allow me to let go of my sick attachment to XW and there has been NO level of sadness or hurt. I attribute the lack of negative feelings now to the fact that I'd gone through so much pain and emotional trauma over 3+ years pursuing XW. It is what it is. I've finally let to emotionally and divorced her on my terms, and I'm emotionally free.