I'm a no expert here but I think that it is plain that he doesn't want to face the music so he is chickening out and OW is tied to that escape feeling.
It is brutal to hear that you are everything he wants but it is too late. My H has said similar although not quite to that extent.
He must be a miserable soul to be looking at you and saying that and choosing the OW. I think it is clear that he feels like cr*p about himself and doesn't know how to man up and start rebuilding. Maybe where that comes from, that sort of "I wish I could but I can't" thing. Maybe they just want to be small and expect less from themselves. Right now, he is a total failure and a let down so a seedy, covert relationship fits well with that state of mind. Just my opinion.
Good for you though that you have become THAT woman who he has to feel tormented about walking away from. That is the best you can do, right? Be that awesome person that only a miserable fool would leave.
I'm sure you're hurting and I'm so sorry but you are pretty awesome.
Is it rebound? I think that is obvious but he is mentally unstable and if there is one thing I am trying to learn from this site, it is that we just don't know if and when they will "get it." I'm sure you need to breathe for a bit and see what you are dealing with.
