Had long chat with W, I'm too tired to post all details but I asked her the straight question, "Are you in or are you out, cos right now I'm out". Well W wants in, she wants us in. So we talked long, long , long, not about IM man or what I know or what she wants to deny. we talked about where we are going wrong. Bottom line is we have become good parents but lost the "us" in the M . We are no longer H and W or passionate lovers we are just parents of D7.
Indirectly I also found out what W gets from OP outside the M
Originally Posted By: Kalni
I've told you before I think, she needs constant "validation" and ego stroking.
Spot on K this is what she is getting. W said she wants me to get back to wooing her or doing things that make her want to want me.This time shes actually given me some clues on how to go about it. She sited simple things like yesterday I made dinner even though we wern't really talking she really apprieciated it (without saying it at the time).
I told her that while I thought MC was I good idea, I thought if we communicated more as we were doing now then there would be no need for MC. she agreed.
I made a big speach on the need to rebuild trust, as we hadn't really done so from her first infidelity. We both agreed we are miles apart now and it would take time to get us on to the same page but we need to work on it.
Also we need to make some us time (without D7) to see if we can rekindle the passion, other stuff we talked about in this section are best saved for the SSM forum but we talked about the build up over the course of an evening without out always going for the kill. (which is always my problem).
So we in talking mode,(again) I hope we can move forward but there are still so many issues to resolve. It's so complicated.
