Slowly but surely - detach and 180

[hopefulinEG]

Friday we were both at the kids school all day together. I went to take D6 to get a cast and stopped at starbucks to get a lot of people coffee's. I got one for W also. She thanked me. Only conversation was about D6, where kids were staying that night and about some PTA business. One mistake is that I asked her 3 times when D8's lunch time was. the 1st 2 times after she answered I immediately got involved in something else and it went right out. This was one of her big complaints. She said I didn't listen to her because I forgot things.

She made a big production of having plans this weekend and when she had the girls. We sat down Thursday night, when I picked up the girls form her and went over calendars. I asked her to watch the girls 2 extra days in May because I had plans. She agreed and I didn't say what my plans were.

We have not fought and other than her being grumpy first thing in the morning she has been friendly.

I am still waivering between hopeful and hopeless. I can consistently tell myself it will take a lot of time and I can't put my life on hold. It gives me some hope and motivation but I haven't succeded in getting her out of my head all the time. I know I'm not supposed to think about the future or the past but I have done that a lot. I have been more realistic about the future. That it won't just change over night and even when she comes around I will have a lot of trust issues too. We will need a lot of counceling and I will need to really feel like she loves me before I could really trust her.