The road ahead is so uncertain.... #7

[Concerned_Listener]

Now it's out in the open we all have to deal with it, rather than just myself getting wound up and building up my blood pressure.

But at the end of the day there is only so much work I can do on myself, eventually the other side needs a swift kick to move things one way or the other.


Lanzo

In your case, further waiting would do more harm to you, as you would build resentment, and act that out towards your W. Your frustration is so high, that you're ready to deal with the unbalancing confrontation will bring.

You're also starting to think about moving on, and want to make sure you've tried everything possible to move things along.

I remember reading that letting an alcoholic hit bottom is cruel, and that a family member should intervene way before then. Maybe the same approach should be considered when working with a depressed, addictive spouse. It's another gray area of choosing from the spectrum of letting natural consequences move things along, while we set boundaries, versus implementing our own logical consequences.

As I've said, I'm beginning to think that wise intention is more important than where on the spectrum of strategies we choose.

CL