Naej and Matilda, My W has been sharing her concern about her dancing friend who is getting a D (OP?). His W is stalling the D, and gave him a ridiculous offer regarding property settlement. My W witnessed domestic violence from his adult children towards her friend. They sped out of there on his motorcycle. He spends the night at our place for respite several nights per week, which I don't mind. My W says that he speaks highly of me.
My W is concerned about his health (high blood pressure, overeating, incipient depression). He has started seeing a therapist, and is returning to regular church attendance. She says that helping him makes her feel useful.
My W wants to take motorcycle riding lessons, and found a place where you can take lessons, and rent a cycle.
She has been putting effort into maintaining her laundry, and cleaning the house. She takes pride in respecting my privacy, and expects me to do the same (I'm still standing by not snooping into the accidental email message).
She seems to be warming up to the puppy, now that he's settlling into a household routine. One night, when she was bored, and I was going out dancing, I encouraged her to take the dog for a walk.
I continue to dance three nights per week. I'm trying to keep a teacher-student distance with one of the dance teachers, but she keeps flirting (I think) with me. Whatever I say, or gesture seems to tickle her. She keeps saying that she loves me (enjoys me). I'm not sure what her intention is, but mine is to keep her as part of my dance network and enjoy her attention on the dance floor. I don't flirt back, as I don't want to mislead her into thinking I'm available or interested in anything further.
My W is showing signs of wanting to connect via conversation, which makes being roommates more pleasant. I'm still going to keep boundaries around being in public as a couple, until there's some effort on her part to work on the M/herself.
I'm neither standing for the M, nor waiting for my W. I'm setting boundaries around the M, and GAL, trusting that at some point, I'll know when it's time to pursue a D or attempt Piecing.
My protate problem isn't completely resolved, and uncomfortable on some days (fullness in the rectum, frequent urination, discomfort while sitting), but better than it was three weeks ago. I'm into my last week of antibiotics (with a refill), but prefer to save the refill for a relapse. This can be a stubborn problem to treat. Once finished with the antibiotic, I'll switch to an herbal approach, and buy a herbal mixture for the prostate. I've been to a urologist in the past, and he indicated that my symptoms were mild compared to older men, who have to wake up several times during the night (once for me). I think of this as my headache, except it's in my bottom. I guess you can't hide stress from your body.
I understand that others in the MLC community would approach my situation differently, and will express that to me. That's fine, as long as it's respectful, as it helps me to assess my current approach. I posted to Lanzo that I think our actions and speech done with wise intention are more important than where on the confrontation-holding back spectrum our approaches lie.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
