So, I said before, so what if be is back and giving you nothing, does that stop you being loving toward him? Does it make you different to any of us who have to lower our expectations until this phase of our lives (their lives?) is done?
Hmmm YES? It does stop me. Ali, I give up. Are you telling me I should be happy with what I get? Listen, what each of us does/accepts/forgives is our own business. I've said so before, there are people here their Ss are separeted & divorced, remarried and they are stuck to the past hoping their Ss will divorce the new woman/man only to come back to them and live happily ever after. To me, and that's why I dont post to those people, not to sound discouraging, that's bullshit. It's total crap and the borderline to insanity.
How many people do you know that their partners naver came back? Well, I know a lot. Even on this board, we said the statistcs are pretty lame.
Lower expectations when your S is away because he OWES you nothing. Because he separated his life from you, because having expectations from someone that isnt in a relationship with you is insane. Tha's what this forum says. DONT have expectations, GAL, live your life and if/when they come THEN you see what you will do. I dont remember reading anywhere that expectations should be zero once you are in a relationship. WHY? Just to be able to say you have a H or a BF? I value myself more. Sure if there was any progress I would feel difefrently. But...
In my case, all the books I've read, the MC we had, himself even agreed that unless BOTH people do their share, this relationship is doomed. Loving towards him? I've got to smile with this.
Does anyone on this board dreams they Hs/Ws coming back to live in a shitty relationship, lacking all the things that should be there? Have them back at any cost? If that's what you are prepared to accept for a relationship with your man that's fine with me. But it's not what I want.
I am not DBIng anymore to WIN him back. Remember? He CAME BACK. Now it's time for him to give, try, work his ass off to make this work just as much as I am/have beem/should be. I am NOT desperate.
Lower expectations? Seriously? How does that make me different than al of you? Well, my H is back, that's what is different. He is not doing what he should be and he should be doing a lot of things. He had 7 months he only used to make me feel rejected again. Period.
naej said something about respect ourselves. I think you missed that point.
I owe my H the fact that when he left me, I realised what I had was not a healthy, fullfilling relationship. He opened Pandora's box.
Ohhh, you really can push my buttons sometimes. I wish you were here and I would pull your hair K
