PM Thread #5 - Hope new plan works

[PositivelyMommy]

My son had a birthday party today. I had a good time and my children had a blast but at times it was difficult. My H showed up all jetlagged and it went downhill from there.

He just sat like a lump, didn't talk with any of the parents. Some dads went up to him to introduce themselves and he made minimal effort. Didn't even offer them drinks or anything. He then starts sulking. It was kind of difficult to ignore but thank goodness a good friend who I share my probs with and her H were keyed in and tried to keep things happy and try to distract me with their happiness. The H stepped in and fooled around with all the kids. Great friends, you can't buy this kind of thoughfulness and friendship. Priceless. I am so grateful they are in my life.

But H remained sullen and sulky for the rest of the day and came out to dinner with us, and my parents. It was difficult. I felt bad for my parents, they didn't sign up for this pretending. But we all did it for the children.

Sometimes I just wish he wasn't around, it's much more relaxed without him when he is depressed and sulky like this.

So we put the kids to bed and he left without even saying goodbye.

I was very angry, I called out 'Goodbye' in a sweet voice. He yelled back good bye without making eye contact or anything. I kept telling myself, I know I am angry and feels like he treats our home like a hotel and come and go as he likes but I WILL NOT talk to him when I am angry.

So I came on this BB and tried to help out some newcomers. I feel much better now. It's very good for my self-esteem when I can help. Just because my H don't want me now and/or don't like me doesn't mean that I am not a good person or that I am unlikeable or worthless. I am a worthy person and I know I am capable of helping others.

So now, I can post in a much calmer state of mind, thank goodness for this BB.