Lanzo, I agree that we shouldn't get into second-quessing the decision you made about confronting your W about the emails, or your decision to look into her private emails.
I would advise to make sure you know what your intent is with the actions you take. You want to make sure that there is never an intent to harm, or punish. The email to the OP probably would fall in that category.
You also want to make sure that there is intent with your actions, and that you pause before taking any action. You don't want your actions to be reactive or acting-out.
If you think that spying was necessary to bring it out in the open, that's fine by me, as long it's not reactive, and done without intention to harm.
As long as we strive to treat our WAS's with respect, any approach we take, whether it involves no R talks or confronting is the right one.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
