I don't think you're wrong. Being responsible for one's actions is part of growing up, and a key lesson we need to teach our children. Maybe XH never learned these lessons? Or chooses to ignore them, since many of his recent actions are hinged upon the lack of responsibility for the choices he has made. Your decision to make your son pay his part was perfect.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread