Sandi's in Piecing and it's getting better

[MrBond]

Sandi,

Thanks again for your reply and believe me they are NEVER too long. You are right that sometimes I do need to vent and that even though things are looking much more positive, I do need to slow down.

I know she's trying for whatever reason. I also understand about the mourning period, for her other R with the OM, and of course it's harder for me seeing as how she sees the guy every day. I surmised that he is deep in a MLC and I do get afraid that if he starts trying to get his hooks back into her, she'll fall right for him again. Hence my trying to outshine him. She had told me before that she didn't have very many friends and so she was going to miss his friendship. That was the hardest pill to swallow. I had told her time and time again even before all this happened that something was wrong and that she could always talk to me when she had problems, but she never did.

One of the things that I believe attracted her to her boss is that he looked like her grandfather who was the only positive male role model in her life and felt that she could trust him. Of course all he wanted was to get in her pants, but she couldn't see it.

But that's all water under the bridge. She's here now and that's all that matters. I'm just not sure if she's still getting a "fix" with him being there or if she actually has started her mourning period.

Don't worry about the 2x4s or thinking that I will get discouraged or hurt. Everything you've said are things that I've gone over in my head. It is nice though to be given a reminder by you.

I cherish your posts and they have kept me going at the times when I become frustrated.

Like you with your H, I wish she could talk to me the way we do. Especially when she started having doubts about us.

I will back off a tad to see how it goes. I've often thought of how I could "attract" her back to get her to be the one to initiate things. Out of love and not out of obligation. If you have any ideas on how I can quietly attract her back I'm all for it.

I am in it for the long haul and remain optimistic so you don't have to worry about me straying. I wonder what you would have done if your H did that to you. I don't think he'd be walking around today. : )

I will continue to woo her without being too aggressive. I've already accepted the fact that this was going to be a loooong dry season : ).