I am indeed looking into breed rescues as well as puppies, Donna. I am determined to find a pet with a solid health record and all the certifications (OFA, AKC, etc.) because I have had my heart wounded too much by the shortened lives of good dogs with congenital defects. I lost Angus to Cushing's Syndrome and I can't bear to ever witness an animal go through such pain ever again. It would probably kill me. It may seem selfish and unfair, but I just cannot bear otherwise -- I must find a sound, healthy dog, or not at all.
Hi NCB, I am sorry you are going through such obvious turmoil and distress, is it possible your son got confused after all he is only 8 and if both dogs were the same breed. Try not to overthink it, what good will it actually do.
I am afraid, we can never be sure of a dogs health and longevity, but we can take steps to do all we can to ensure it. Certain breeds are notorious for ill health, partly due to breeding!!! shortning of face so dogs can barely breath,also giving brain damage. Shortening of legs to give designer dog looks and then dogs are unable to give birth naturally- hmmm you can see its a sore point with me! Some of the healthiest dogs are usually mongrols-Heinz 57's we call them. I always make sure I get hip and eye scoring and see both parents. I guess we have to go through the endings with them and remember all the love,loyalty and enrichment they brought to our lives. It is always worth it IMO. Was Angus a GSD or a Boxer by any chance?
I questioned S8 about that detail, because I was incredulous that it could have been a dog my S never knew personally, having passed away before he was born. However S8 replied that he was "pretty sure" xW was talking about Angus and not Duncan.
Knowing my S and his attention to such details, I tend to believe him.
Originally Posted By: naej
Was Angus a GSD or a Boxer by any chance?
Scottish Terrier. Cushing's has been known to run in this breed, even though reutable breeders have done a good job in getting that and vWD under control in their stock. But apparently my brother, the breeder for both my dogs, made a bit of mistake in selecting Angus' sire.
I understand what you're saying about breeders overbreeding their animals such that they introduce unfortunate side effects into their lines, all to achieve a "designer" dog. I don't believe in inbreeding or line breeding for this reason. But breeders can still take steps to improve a breed without such issues arising.
When we discovered that Angus had Cushings we had Duncan neutered -- we were not going to risk passing it on to other generations.
Well that suprised me NCD, I have only ever known German Shepherds and Boxers get Cushing, although I know a few S Terriers, I am not much into small breeds.
I take your point about breeders,but I feel that huge sums of money are now to be made breeding (not by all I know). You only have to look at the price of a pedigree pup these days. I am a yellow Lab person myself but always go for the same lineage,purely b/c I know from a temperament point of veiw they cannot be bettered. My old fella is on borrowed time now AND some days I am never having another b/c I know I will be devastated when this one goes, we have a special bond having gone through my "madness" with me, then I think maybe a smaller breed, quite taken with the Snauzers, or Norfolk terriers.
It seems incredulous to think what your son told you was true, not only do these spouses rob us of a future in some ways but to steal the past and have it spoiled seems to make the distrust even more and makes one feel the whole m was a sham when that is probably not the truth. I wish you well and especially on finding a new 4 legged side kick.
I didn't think I would be either, to be honest. For years I had kept my eye out with the hopes of someday getting a Golden or a Lab, a larger breed, but with a Scottie only as an outside possibility (since I was impressed with what I had seen of them.)
Then my kid brother got started in breeding Scotties. And when I put up the money for one of the stud fees, I got a puppy out of the deal. That was Angus.
Scotties don't really know they're a small breed. That's why I have come to love their temperament so much. They are big dogs in little packages.
(On top of everything else, S8 insisted we watch Marley & Me last evening. It is a good movie, especially if you've ever loved a canine. And it does have a very bittersweet ending, one that jerked out the tears from us. The pain of losing Duncan is still fresh and this movie certainly plucked at our heartstrings all the more because of that.)
I never thought I'd want another dog once Angus' line was gone with Duncan's passage. It seems so unfair that they love us so intently but live for only a fraction of our own lifetime. And as much as it hurts to watch them go, I cannot measure the love and joy they bring to us in that short time.
Yes you are right about the little dogs-lol most seem to suffer from delusions of grandeur, given the number that have a go at my old fella, who has eaten bigger bones than they are. Luckily he is so placid but very nervous around Jack Russells.
Funny today we met 3 Irish Wolfhounds on our walk and my big boy looked positively small. They are truly gentle giants.
Each and every dog has something to offer,no we can never replace the special bond in our hearts with a particular dog, nor should we try to replace them,but the joy and fun of starting off with a new buddy makes it all worthwhile.
I have been banned from seeing Marley, when I lost my last Lab I walked around like a Panda for months. I couldn't even tak about him for ages, now my new dog is getting to the stage when decisions are coming I thank God for each good day with him.
Have you contacts for any of Duncans litter owners, maybe someone had a bitch they bred. Although there are plenty of dogs needing loving homes here I am sure it is a world wide problem.
NC, I missed your post about your S8's story (cross-posted)...please be wary not to assume too much based on this one bit of info, but do keep it tucked away in the back of your mind, should anything come along to substantiate it. It is the third-party recollection of an 8 year old...
NC, I'm sorry about the news of that. I can relate, my H used to take my dog out with the OW when he was first pretending to do that instead of be with her, he'd be gone walking the dog for half a day! I hate any of my loved ones being around her.
The thing I think though is if true about your W doing that for way longer than you once thought, I mean thank goodness your marriage is ending if that's true. There are so many good, faithful women in the world--you deserve one of them!!! (((((NC)))))) Karen
Big dogs are the best! I love when big dogs *think* they are small, lap dogs.
Here's what I think about your xW. I don't think your whole marriage was a sham. I don't think she had an affair for 9 years (even emotional for a bit). I think IF OM was in your xW's life prior to the physical affair, that he was an innocent friend (why she didn't tell you about going there puts a wrinkle in my theory though). I think that when your xW became unhappy in the marriage (read: unhappy with herself and projecting...), that OM, already in the picture as a friend, became more to her. I think it was emotional for awhile (which trust me, from experience, in many ways hurts more than a physical affair) but then turned physical.
I also believe that the affair between OW and xH started earlier, lasted longer, and was much more intense than anyone let on. I just try very hard not to dwell. It'll take time to process it, and then you will move on.
You are doing well, my paper bag friend! I am sorry you are hurting.
I hate any of my loved ones being around her. 