Separated, Served...still have FAITH!

[MrBond]

Jag,

I am sorry that you are here as the rest of us are. What you're feeling is all just part of the roller coaster. I've been at this for over a year and went through all of the pain and suffering you did.

I had my doubts and my bouts of depression, anger, sadness, etc. Then when I thought I was over it, I was knocked on my butt by something my W said or did.

But through it all, I never lost faith as you have labeled this thread. It was not a matter of "if" my W turned around...it was a matter of WHEN my W turned around. That helped me to stay positive and upbeat through it all.

And today my W is here after a separation. We are sleeping in the same bed and maybe, just maybe we'll be able to become intimate once more.

But you have to start with one thing. Having goals. Read and re-read DB and DR about setting small goals. If those don't get achieved, make them smaller until you see those being achieved by your W.

It's obvious your W still has feelings for you but is confused as to how she's feeling. As hard as it is, you need to understand that hurt she's going through from her perspective. And I mean REALLY understand it. It's difficult to explain, but if you stick with it, you'll know true understanding when you get there.

Many here give up before they get to that point, definitely not a weakness. Some stick with it, but still can't get over how their spouse is treating them (thereby not really understanding their S). And some remain patient, let the things their spouse does/says slide off their backs, become truly compassionate to their spouse's needs, GAL and become stronger and confident people that were able to save their M or become comfortable enough in their own skin that the D didn't bother them.

Your W showing emotion is a great sign. She needs space, but continue to be cheerful (as hard as it is) and confident around her. Become the person you were when you were first dating and develop your interpersonal skills so that you truly understand where she's coming from. It's only with this awareness will you be able to create reachable goals to attract her back.

You can do it. PRAYER and PATIENCE my friend. Take it one day at a time. Face your panic attacks head on (we've all gotten them) so that fear is no longer your enemy. Conquer your fear and you'll achieve clarity.

I continue to wish you well my friend.