WAW, progress than setbacks... need advice

[MrRegret]

Lastly, she always asks me, like 20 times now, "I know you are doing things differently now, and see things differently, but if you really loved me, why did you not see them before. Why did it take so long for you to realize you hurt me so bad?" How the heck am I to answer this?!?! Obviously I did not know how bad I was, or more importantly how much it was hurting her. (VERY little communication) And obviously I see it now, and want it to change, but can't put them into words.

How about this..."I don't know, but I am sorry it took this! Our current predicament forced me to look at myself and I was not happy with what I saw."

Or..."I did love you enough before but I did not have the tools to show you in the ways that were most desirable for you. I'm a smart man and can learn and grow and love better. I am committed to growing and becoming the best man I can."


I gleaned both of these off of this board!

Thanks. That is pretty much what I try to tell her. That I am sorry it took all this, but I have re prioritized my life.

Well, she came over tonight. Texted me before hand and said she did NOT want to talk about "us" at all. I was glad for this and told her I didn't plan on it. She came over and after the dog settled down, (he was EXCITED, since he hasn't seen her for quite a while) we had a good time. She sat down on the couch first, and sat in the middle. This was great, since I did not have to worry of what to do. She got up a couple of times to get something or whatnot and still sat in the middle, so we sat next to each other. (Wow, funny how something like that can possibly be a good sign) Like a dumb teenager, I timed the show and with about 15 minutes left, I held out my hand to see if she would hold it. I did not go for hers, I thought that may be too much. As soon as she saw it out of the corner of her eye, she said boldly, "no." I pulled back and there was silence. The kind of feeling you get when first dating, and you know the date is pretty much over. Like I said, we were talking good up to this point. So I scolded myself internally and said it is too early to push and enjoy what I had. I started talking like nothing had happened and she slowly joined in. 5 minutes later, she said, "ok, you can hold my hand." and she grabbed my hand and that was that. I was smart enough not to push any farther.

It all went well. I walked her out to her car, and we hugged for a bit. And then she left. She texted that she got home safely and thanked me for a good night.

I need to keep myself from reading too much into her parents, and just enjoy and appreciate the time we are spending together. I have to believe that part of her wants us to work this out, or why would she waste her time doing things with me?