Okay so while trying to finish my D3 playground i did alot of thinking. You know ive done alot wrong in this R and i wish i could go back with what i know now and change the things that i'm changing now for myself and my D. But the more i think it about the more confident i am that me and my D are going to be ok. I love my W and I love my family i never wanted this for my D and above all she means everything to me. I will not be like my father and through this last week i think that might have been part of my fear.
I believe if my W does leave that my D is better off staying here. I'm not leaving, I'm not the one giving up. and like others have said she shouldnt have her cake and eat it to. Dont get me wrong I am not saying this out of anger for current personal R with my wife. I would never keep either one from seeing eachother, nor would i ever put a bad thought about my W in my D head regardless of how i feel about her when all this is over. (i wont have hard feelings toward W and I will always love her regardless how this post sounds) I know my D doesnt want this no child does and she is too young to be able to defend herself and have a point of view on this. So as her father it is my responsibilty to protect her when she cant, to defend her because she is unable to. I dont think its fair to D to bounce from one home to another, to be taken for half the time to there and half the time here. Thats trying to be fair to myself and my W rather than whats best for her.
Several people have said that our D would be better off with me including her own family. I wont be mean about this because like i said this isnt out of anger for whats happening between me and my W, Its about my beautiful D and she deserves the best chance for happiness. (Not sure how or when i should tell the wife i feel like this, she will not be happy at all about it)
I'm not giving up I will continue to do the best i can to get my family back together and for all of us to be happy as a family, but about this situation i must prepare for what will need to be done for my D sake, if W decides that this is it.
Inputs?
On a better note though i signed up for the coaching sessions YAY! hopefully they can help me develop a better plan of attack and help me make some better goals for myself.
I'm having a better day though less concerned with whats going on with my W and concentrating more on me and my D. will post my "journal" entry later.
