I just hope she doesn't do too much damage to the boys, she's already done it to you.
I pray so fervently to God that the pain and brokenness I feel does not also become manifest in the lives of my two innocent boys. I am fortunate that I was raised in an intact home, with a sound familial foundation. It would mortify me were my S's futures be jeopardized by this tragedy, as it will certainly not be what it should be.
And now that xW is pressing forward in involving the OM more and more in their lives, I fear my S's are having their moral upbringing stunted.
Originally Posted By: fightingirish
Have you been doing anything for yourself lately?
Originally Posted By: lwb
I agree also. Its time for you to be 'selfish'. Go do something for yourself.
I am doing what little I can, within my dwindling financial resources. Of course spending time with my S's only partly qualifies for what you're suggesting. I have added an aerobic program to my strength training, having backed off of the strength training considerably since the gastrointestinal incident last fall. I've gained close to 15 pounds since then, and I am now trying to ease that back down to my goal weight.
The bible study group with my friends has been on hiatus for the last few weeks, and will resume next Friday. We haven't gotten together at all in quite a long time now.
But mostly I have spent a lot of time alone when I do not have my S's. Reading. Thinking. Doing housework and errands. Not really socializing as I had been, but trying to get to know my old single self once more.
I feel the need to rebegin the GAL process.
One thing that I have been looking into is finding a new dog. We lost Duncan, our Scottish Terrier, in January. He didn't live with me, staying with xW for the kids' sake, but I took care of him. I wanted to change up my lease to allow pets so I could take him in, but then he got cancer and quickly passed on. I miss him a lot.
I would love another Scottie, and as much as I love that indefinable character they exhibit I can no longer look upon one and not remember Duncan or, more importantly, Angus, Duncan's father, who was the best dog I've ever known. They were irreplaceable.
So I have looked at other breeds. Leaning heavily towards a Westie for a couple of reasons. First my S's have a children's story book about a Westie that we all love very much. Second, we had always thought a white Westie would be the perfect complement to a darkly-coated Scottie when we considered a second dog to be a companion to Duncan.
If I were not living in an apartment, I would definitely gravitate towards a Golden Retriever. Even before I fell in love with Scotties, I knew how gentle and loving and all-around great pets that the Goldens could be.
But I have to work this out as a serious financial and emotional commitment first. There are considerable expenses to consider, including increased rent and deposits, health costs, food, etc. I have to consider the well being of the animal as well. I live in an apartment, so there's no fenced-in yard -- although that would be attenuated by my commitment to exercise the dog as much as necessary. And it might be that the apartment management might turn me down, despite their stated pet-friendly stance.
In general, it may not be wise to undertake this at this time. But I will give it considerable thought. It might have to wait until next Fall, or even next year, but I do know that at some point, nor or later, I will find the right dog and it will happen.
