WAW, progress than setbacks... need advice

[MrRegret]

Well, it's been over 2 months since my wife left and took the kids. (One is mine, the other is from a previous relationship of hers) I get my son every weekend. It was all but over, then my wife decided we would maybe try things out for 6 months. See each other, and stuff, so she could see if changes are for real, or if I was all talk. Lately it has been good. She asked me out for lunch, we went out for dinner for her birthday, and tonight she is coming over to watch a movie. In between these events for the last 2 weeks, she has been a little on edge. Example: She got REAL upset that I took my son bowling with a friend, his wife and child. She said she tried to get me to do things with others for 2 years, and NOW I go out after she is gone. I realized very quickly that she was not mad, but hurt that I do this now, and not then. What I cannot get through to her, nor according to this site, should I even try, is for her to see that is the whole point! I am doing my best to change my ways. To be a person who is happy, and can do the things she wants as well. It is almost comical, she complained I did not spend enough time with the kids, that I did not socialize enough, that I was stingy with money. Now, I do all kinds of things with my son, go out more with friends, etc... Yet, she criticizes me about this. I try to remind myself she is hurt that I didn't do these things when she was here. I wish she could see that I want these things to continue, and to include her into them at some point.

Anyways, the main problem. I went to pick up my son, and her and I talked. I did NOT want to bring any of it up, but she did. She was keeping it a secret that we were working on things. Her parents are EXTREMELY apposed to us getting back together. Her sister went and told them and now her mother is telling her that our personalities clash and we should just end it. Who cares about the fact that we have a family, love each other, and both want to work it out. Since THEY think we are not good for each other, they want her to throw it all away. I couldn't answer her with anything other than that I want her to be happy. That I know we love each other, and the problem is that everyone thinks if we work this out, we go back to the old way we were. That I don't want that. I want us to be together, but more importantly, I want us happy. I think we can do that together, but she needs to decide that. She said she really wants to believe it all, but can't take my word for it, and needs to see it. I said I agree, I would never expect her to just accept my word, that I want her and I to do things and if I succeed in changes, she and I would see them, if I fail, we will both see that too. She said she wants that, but she wanted me to know how her parents felt. I do not know why that would matter as much as she makes it sound. No one, not even my entire family would be able to stop me from being with someone I loved. Good thing is, my family would never try. They support me, if I fail, they help me back up, not criticize my actions. I feel bad for her. Any advice on what I should say or not say when she brings this stuff up?

Lastly, she always asks me, like 20 times now, "I know you are doing things differently now, and see things differently, but if you really loved me, why did you not see them before. Why did it take so long for you to realize you hurt me so bad?" How the heck am I to answer this?!?! Obviously I did not know how bad I was, or more importantly how much it was hurting her. (VERY little communication) And obviously I see it now, and want it to change, but can't put them into words. I don't really want to, I want her to see my answer in my actions over the next few months, then the rest of our lives, but now even her parents are trying to block that path.