Incidentally futureunknown...she told me last night that she dislikes the 'new me' even more than she disliked the 'old me'! What's your take on that?
You probably tried to point out how you're now different. She's extremely angry, and she'll take any opportunity to lash out, and the last thing she wants is you trying to tell her that NOW you'll be so different and great. She doesn't even really know the new you, she can't, because he doesn't fully exist yet. This is going to take a lot more time. Stop trying to make something happen, and just step back, let her go, give her the freedom she needs, and take this time to work on you. Shock her over how fine you are with all this. Make her think you've come to a new realization about everything, and you now see how right she is about everything, and that she's free to go and live her life. Better yet, actually believe that yourself! But don't say any of this, just do it and live it. She's going to need a lot of time to work through her anger. Her seeing you change very well might bring up that anger, because she'll think "Why couldn't he change before! Why did he have to make me leave!" Remember, no matter what she says, she didn't want to leave, she feels you left her no choice, eventually you forced her to do what she didn't want to do, now she has to live with the guilt, and she hates you for it." With time, her anger will subside, and hopefully she'll be open to seeing you in a new light.
Don't think of it as false hope. Hope by it's nature is risky, so don't build the foundation of your new life on this hope. The hope is just a special thing for you to carry with you if you choose to.
