Thanks for the replies and support. It is helpful, because you my gosh, you feel ALONE sometimes in this. So far, both replies make sense, and I need to "process" them a little more.
OM was a married father of one of the kids that went to our kids school.
They met dropping the kids off every morning. Innocent flirting, that one day led to my wife deciding to give him her e-mail address. To which they exchanged everything from tame, to highly sexual e-mails, phone calls, and meetings in the park while the kids were at school.
The flirting started, and went on for an unknown period of time. The meetings in the park, and e-mails were a little over two weeks.
I stumbled in the internet history looking for something legitimate, seeing just the subject lines of e-mails that were traded that were highly suggestive, and did not come from me.
Approaching the subject very delicately since I did not have much proof, but just a bad feeling, I asked about what I saw, and she denied to know what I was talking about. It was purposely and VERY non accusing. Letting that answer slide for a few hours, I tried asking again, pressing a little harder, when she broke down and told me at a very high level what was going on. I have not contacted him, although I did see the e-mails on my own a few days later. I was able to copy the ones that I needed just in case they would ever be needed down the road.
It obviously took time, and was not always this way, but after 15 years of being best friends and 8 years of being their spouse, I had 100% trust in her, no matter the problem. I never had any reason to question what may be going on in these regards, so even asking anything now, as much as I need, and it hurts, it's very hard to do and sometimes feel overwhelmingly guilty about it.
