We've been separated for 7 months now, and this is the decision she has come to over that time. She did say at the beginning that she wanted to work on the M through the separation time, but there has been no activity in that regard on her side, and I pursued like crazy for the first 3 months, and DB's for the past 4 months.
I appreciate your perspective FIB, and I just had a discussion with my boss who went through a D 3 years ago, and he told me basically the same thing. I know I have no control of what happens and have to accept whatever she decides, but I remain resolute that I will not agree to this. She can do what she has to do, but it will all be on her, and it will be presented to the kids that it is her decision, not something we both decided. I believe M is sacred, and nothing but abuse would warrant a D.
I think she is still conflicted because she hasn't taken any steps, and is looking for my agreement to move forward. Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm deceiving myself, but I hold onto the belief that the one who wants to leave the M has the power, and the one who doesn't only has time.
Sandi, if you are reading this, I hope you will give me your perspective.
