Funny thing happened at work the other day. Young guy comes into my office and starts talking about interactions w/ his fiance. A lot of the stuff he says about interactions, arguements, etc. remind me of my relationship. So, I offered him my copy of Hold on to your N.U.T.S. and recomend he go buy the 5 love languages. Well, 4 or 5 days later he comes to me smiling. I said, what's up? He tells me about setting boundries, not arguing anymore, better interactions all the way around and thanks me over and over. Damn, I wish I would have had this knowledge years ago. I hope he has more success than I've had. I have to keep telling myself every morning that I didn't do anything wrong. I know what I could have done better in the marriage though. I have the knowledge and am standing by to apply if I get the chance again.
Agree wholeheartedly. I know what I'm giving my kids and their future spouses as a wedding present.
Me40 WAW37 M18 T20 S18,14 D13 EA Bomb 6/08 Sep 11/20/08 Ret 08/09 Sep/Filed 11/09
I'm thinking that we can all be counsellers and hep other people save themselves from themselves! When my friends whine about little things like their H watching the game all night etc I tell them to be thankful that's all they have to complain about:)
Funny thing happened at work the other day. Young guy comes into my office and starts talking about interactions w/ his fiance. A lot of the stuff he says about interactions, arguements, etc. remind me of my relationship. So, I offered him my copy of Hold on to your N.U.T.S. and recomend he go buy the 5 love languages. Well, 4 or 5 days later he comes to me smiling. I said, what's up? He tells me about setting boundries, not arguing anymore, better interactions all the way around and thanks me over and over. Damn, I wish I would have had this knowledge years ago. I hope he has more success than I've had. I have to keep telling myself every morning that I didn't do anything wrong. I know what I could have done better in the marriage though. I have the knowledge and am standing by to apply if I get the chance again.
Agree wholeheartedly. I know what I'm giving my kids and their future spouses as a wedding present.
Agree as well. I have actually become a bit of a "preacher" with my close friends who are married - "Fix yourself and your m now!" "Read these books". Some of them actually are.
I am hoping that they take it seriously, but it's hard to do without the blow to the head that we all took.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
My brother has been one of my main confidants about my situation, and has told me of one awesome side effect of my whole disaster. He recently told me that because of what I'm going through, he and his wife have really worked to fix some problems in their marriage, and they're doing a lot better. My parents went to visit them recently and said how surprised they were that the demeanor between my brother and SIL was so much more positive. That made me feel really good.
One thing that struck me was her wicked reaction to you not "caring" about what she should bring over for dinner. This drives me and most other women NUTS. In trying to be amiable and easy and pleasing (with the best of intentions, I'm sure), you're not giving any direction and leadership, you're not showing that you have any opinion with regard to what YOU want (therefore not showing a lack of backbone and substance), and you're leaving the work up to her to figure it all out.
A girl doesn't want to have to think of everything and be burdened with all of the decision making, even on a small level. When you ask a woman out, don't ask her what she'd like to do or where she'd like to go. Figure something out and take her there. Lead and be her man.
I hope this makes sense and sheds some light on what seems to be a very b*tchy response. It probably struck a nerve with her, and she probably doesn't even know why.
Glover stated something about this on the NMMNG website. He explains it beautifully.
Hope that is somewhat helpful. It may seem trivial, but it is a symbol of a much deeper issue of why she might have trouble seeing you as her man.
Lucky, No, you're right. I thought of this as soon as I hung up the phone and it has been a point of contention for us in the past. Noted and will be more decisive in the future if the opportunity presents itself. I don't think it's trivial at all.
Thanks.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
Don't get my hopes up! I just got to a level of not being too emotional.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
AF - Steady...you are doing well...stay in your lane. No begging and looking needy. All options are open and you do not have to settle for something you do not want...it takes time
