I suppose the Last Resort technique can be a little confusing at times.My reading of it is that its really supposed to be about pulling back from your spouse and focussing on you. Giveing both of you space to breathe and think and not be in that unhappy dance place where you`re reacting to what spuse does all the time and are ultimately controlled by them.
So its primary aim, as I understand it is not to win them back. So maybe success with the LRT has to measured in terms of how you`re feeling about yourself and not in terms of what your spouse thinks or not.
Am I right about that? So for the past three weeks that I`ve been in LRT(and I`m told three weeks is a very short time. Sigh!) I`ve been watching H carefully for any shred of change in him. Not realising that actually, I am just fine myself. He has failed to upset me. I`ve even have had moments(brief!) where I`ve actually forgotten about the painful place our M is in!
I`m more relaxed, optimistic(though not about M) enjoying most of what life has to offer. And I`m laying off from sharing so much with the few I`ve confided in. They need to see I`m in a more peaceful place for their sakes.
I`ve started to keep a scrapbook of my journey. Little things like sheet music, theatre programmes, cinema tickets wherever I`m getting my buzz from.
I think I`ll hold off on Love Dare. It`ll put me in a spot where I`m waiting for spouse to show appreciation and he just isn t there right now.I`ve decided just to tweak my LRT by focusing on being unpredictable. So I`m played the piano this morning, f`instance,where normally I`d have left that til evening.I`m indulging myself with some new lingerie tomorrow which I`ll charge to our joint cc so he`ll know about it but won`t get to appreciate it.
